I recently celebrated my 38th birthday, and honestly I wasn’t mortified or felt insecure about the fact that I am going to be 40 in two years. It’s quite comical, because I feel 17 and so immature – but it’s true I will be pushing 40 soon. It also doesn’t hurt that I don’t look my age, I have my mother to thank for that. She looks amazing for her age. But honestly, these aren’t the reasons why I am not tripping about turning 38. Truth is, I have done some work and learned a few things about myself this past year.
The most important thing I learned is that I have to connect with myself, support myself, and belief in myself. We’ve all heard that before, right? But see, this is what happens when you start aging. All these little cliches and sayings start clicking and making sense. This year, I learned how to do just that. How to make time to connect with myself – with the things that make me feel the most connected, the most alive, the most myself.
Another thing I learned this year, I am in a constant state of transformation. I am always growing, and when I am not doing that – I feel stuck, bored, and like I’m dying a slow death. You see, up until this year I would go through these weird phases that I didn’t quite understand. This is another benefit of aging, you start to learn your patterns. Aging can be a wonderful process of self-discovery.
Unfortunately, in this society aging can become this awful process of self-hate. We are constantly being bombarded with messages of we are not enough, we don’t have enough, and the worst part – we start buying that crap. And we compete with society, with others, and most importantly with ourselves. Well, I got tired of being at war with myself and hating myself for all the things I thought I wasn’t.
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come ALIVE and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come ALIVE!
Truth is, you have to do things for yourself that make you feel good about yourself. It’s all in the little things you do for yourself each day. It could be as small as making some changes in your appearance, and as big as a dietary cleanse and other lifestyle changes. Once you get on this path of constantly improving yourself, affirming yourself – you develop self-confidence. You start to believe in yourself, you carry yourself different. When you make these changes not only do you create shifts in your own life, but the world around you starts to shift. People begin treating you differently, opportunities appear, the Universe responds to all of your efforts.
So here are some tips and tricks that have helped me beat the birthday blues and embrace my age.
- Update your wardrobe. Anyone who knows me in real life, knows I am so into shopping and putting looks together. It’s just who I am – but hey who can’t use a few new pieces in their wardrobe or an update to some basic staples. Play the part you want. Maybe you can start dressing more professional at the office. Or maybe, if your wardrobe is pretty conservative consider adding fun pieces or some color.
- Play with makeup. About a year ago, I really wanted to learn to do my own makeup like a pro. I figured there are so many girls out there doing their own makeup like professionals, I can learn too. So I started watching YouTube tutorials and taking classes. Today, I can say I do a pretty decent job with my makeup. Follow makeup artists on Instagram for inspiration. Go to a MAC counter, if you buy $50 dollars worth of makeup they will give you a makeover and show you how to apply the makeup you purchase.
- Update your do. Get a haircut, try a different hairstyle or color. Switch it up.
- Start doing yoga or join a gym. Working out for me is not about exercise. I like yoga because for me it is a way I connect with my Higher Power – so it’s a bit more spiritual for me. But we all know that getting the body moving releases endorphins – the feel good hormone. And well, we all know the multiple benefits of exercise.
- Do a cleanse. Last May, I cut caffeine, dairy, and sugar from my diet for 30 days. The first 14 days were hell, but I never felt better. I felt so clear, I had so much energy. Plus, it’s also a great way to get rid extra weight and not be constantly bloated.
- Start a new spiritual or self-care routine. Commit to doing something for yourself every day. Whether it’s time for self-reflection, journaling, meditation, prayer, or going to church. We all need to connect to something bigger than ourselves.
- Do what you love. Did you paint but stopped because you no longer had time? What do you love that you’re not doing today? Start doing it again. If you’re not sure what you love to do, start exploring and experimenting.
So you see, these aren’t tips on how to look like you are 20 when you’re turning 40. This is about nourishing yourself, loving yourself, and doing things for yourself that will help you create a life worth living. Because when we are happy with ourselves, with our lives, it doesn’t matter how old we are. We’re not counting years, we are counting moments and creating memories.
If we make this kind of commitment to growth, to ourselves we will age with grace and say goodbye to the birthday blues. We will embrace each year with anticipation, waiting to see what more will be revealed.