I like many others, was extremely sad when I heard Alexander McQueen took his own life. I adored him, his designs, his genius. It was such a loss to the fashion industry and in my opinion to the world. Every so often a person comes around and makes an impact on the world. I felt connected to him through his designs. I felt that he expressed a side of me beautifully and in a way I myself could not have described. I never met him but through his designs I felt that he knew me. He knew what I would gravitate towards and what I would treat with disdain.
When he passed, I personally felt affected by this. I questioned my feelings as I did not even know this person. I simply admired him from a far. When details of his passing became public, something within me wished that I could have expressed how important he was to me, to the world and why his presence in it was necessary. I wish there was something I could have done or said to prevent it. I wish I would have had a chance to show him what an amazing light he was to this planet. I am sure his friends felt the same way. Is it weird to say that I miss him? As I type this, my eyes fill with tears. Maybe I connect with the pain and hopelessness he felt or I connect with the pain and void his friends experience today.
What inspired this post was the fact that I finally own a piece of his legacy. I wanted one of his skull scarves ever since they came out. I never got around to purchasing one and never bothered to purchase any of his other pieces. I admit I took his designs for granted and imagined they would always be around. When I learned of his passing it became even more important that I owned one of his pieces. To be completely honest, anytime I saw anything from his lines that I simply adored, I was not in a position to make the purchase (even though in my mind the items are completely worth every penny). Finally, yesterday I stepped into a consignment shop and found a skull scarf at a price I could afford. Without hesitation I purchased the item and vowed to wear it as much possible.
I realize today, that as with anything else in my life, everything unfolds at the right time. This scarf found me at a time when it would not just be one more scarf in my closet. It found me at a time when I would treasure it and value it. I regard this scarf in a way I don’t think I have ever regarded any item in my closet, I regard it as sacred. I try to imagine what he was thinking when he came up with the idea to do these scarves, what inspired him and the details that made this scarf possible. I wear this scarf today and feel a piece of Alexander with me. I wear it as a representation of the human struggle. The struggle between what makes us divine and perfect and what makes us human and frail. I wear it as a token from a friend I will no longer see or hear from again but a friend who I will never forget.
Yesterday I planned on doing a post about this fabulous find, where I found it and for how much, as I do in other posts. But as I looked at this scarf this morning, I realized this is not just another fabulous item I found at a consignment shop. This scarf meant a lot more to me. So I use this post, this platform to express what has been in my heart for so long. This became a love letter to you my dear Lee. May you rest in power and peace, may you know how much you are missed and may you know your spirit and legacy carries on.